*Trigger Warning, below is contents in support of the Pro life March and movement and proof that choosing life is such a blessing no matter the situation and outcome. While writing this I cried so hard because it hit home so bad for me, my heart aches when women are told they can’t and have to choose when they can do it all*
I Chose His Life
I chose his life…..
When I had every opportunity and reason to give up and abort him.
I was 15 years old, a freshmen, failing school drastically, in a crappy “relationship” with someone who turned out to be not all that great, I didn’t have a job, I didn’t have a car, I was scared, hurt, broken, mentally unstable, and naive. I relied on my family to take care him.
But I chose his life anyway when I could have went against everything I was told and moved on like nothing happened but I still would have been that same reckless 15 year old who didn’t give a damn about anything.
You see I chose his life over my own selfish reasons, I chose to bring this baby boy into this world who ended up blessing me and my family. You see that scared, depressed, self destructive 15 year old grew to be strong, deeply rooted, and responsible women. I chose life because he saved mine when I didn’t even want to live, he ended up being one of the biggest reasons for my walk with Christ. I chose his life which he ended up being the first male born on my grandfathers side in 60 years. I chose his life because his life brought joy to our families lives in the middle of deaths and despair.
I chose his life when I heard his little heart race, when his little foot hit the sonogram device that took a picture of him. I chose his life because I wanted to show him that he wasn’t a mistake but a blessing to this world and that I loved every bit of him.
I Chose Her Life
I chose her life…..
When I could have taken the easy way out
I was 19 almost 20, in a new relationship with a great man who I just started seeing, I was scared he would run away and leave us high and dry, I was in between jobs, unsure of my future and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to make it work if I was left with two children to support.
I chose her life when I sat in a planned parenthood who didn’t give me information to support our life together or options to raise her. I chose her life when all they could do was tell me how to end hers instead of flourishing with her. They fed me fear and told me that I would be unhappy and that it’s okay to feel unsure, that the pain only last a moment even though guilt lasts a life time. I chose her life when I was scared and unsure of how to provide for her leaving that office.
You see I chose her life because I want to show her how beautiful she is and make sure she knew that she is a blessing every day like her brother, that she is so much stronger than she knows. I chose her life because she showed me how to eventually love myself again and how to see the world through a brighter lens.
I chose her life because her father didn’t think he was ever able to conceive and was too scared to try, seeing his heart light up when I told him about her was the best moment I could do. I chose her life when they told me I had complications with her and was to be put on bed rest for a short while so I wouldn’t lose her.
I chose her life because I wanted her to meet her big brother who loved her before he knew her, I wanted him to have a partner in crime even if the world was pressing hard on me at the time.
I Chose His Life
I chose his life….
When I could have listened to the medical advice of a doctor
I was 22, married and working a job that couldn’t pay the bills, barley could afford diapers, mentally hurting again and was already two blessings in. Stressed for money and longing for a place to call our own that wasn’t in my mothers house.
I chose his life even when I didn’t know I was growing him until 23 weeks. I chose his life when the doctors told me he had possibilities of him being a downs baby with special needs and advised me about aborting him if the test came back positive, they told me a woman my age wouldn’t be happy with a baby like him. I chose his life because he is human to and had every right to live even if he was beautifully different than normal. I chose his life even when the world said I had to many already.
I chose his life because he blessed mine. He made me lean on God more that ever in a time of unknown, I chose his life even when he was considered a high risk pregnancy. I chose his life even though he ended up not being a downs baby and would be healthy. I chose his life because I wanted him to play ball with his father and have a normal life with his brother and sister. I wanted him to meet his big brother who sang to him every night while he was in my belly, I wanted him to meet his big sister who would give him a hard time but love him unconditionally.
No one ever told me motherhood was going to be easy especially in the situations I had, they all said it would be hard and they were right. I had many, many, many errors and mistakes along the way. I didn’t always have it together and heck I still don’t. I have had many ups, downs, and anxieties along the way, many points of depression and many times of being stuck in the unknown.
But it was worth every bit of the struggle! All three of my husband and I’s blessings were unplanned and blessed us in different ways. None of them were mistakes even at the age I was with each one. Yes it all happened in less than desirable of situations, but I owned up to my actions and was blessed three fold each time.
Yes I had family support that most didn’t have but what most fail to realize that you don’t always need families support.
So I dare to ask……
If you want to empower women so badly then tell them the can make it though the storm and do all things through Christ. If you want to empower women so badly then stop telling them they have to choose between a innocent life or having a career, if you want to empower women tell them they can do both because we are strong enough and can endure it, we are capable of doing it.
If you want to empower women help them recognize how unbelievably amazing they are for creating and birthing a human life which is a blessing all in it’s own. Empower women by giving encouragement and resources to endure not the statistics of what has failed and tell them how unhappy they will be if they choose life. Stop telling women that career life and motherhood doesn’t mix because it can! Empower women by lifting them up in support not shaming them for having a child, support one another and tell them they are amazing, beautiful, and smart.
Giving birth and growing a life is a right that some never get the privilege of having. Some spend years and a lot of money trying to do what comes naturally to most, then those who conceive naturally discard a life as if it were a paper that can be thrown away without a second thought.
I mean do you know how many women would be willing to take the life that you so willingly discard and they will love them as if it were their own? Do you realize you could be blessing a family with a bundle of joy that they long so desperately for? Empower women then to give a life so others can be blessed with parenthood.
So yes I will choose life every time, I will always choose the life God blesses me with even when the odds aren’t in my favor because I know God can. I can stand firm and tell you that all three of my blessings love each other. I wouldn’t of had it any other way and I am doing my best for them day in and day out.
My body was no longer just mine from the minute I heard their little heart beat which raced a million miles a second to the moment I saw their bodies on the sonogram screen. My body was turned into a home for a life, a food supply for a growing body, a protection space for a soul that was being formed in my womb. GOD HANDED PICKED EVERY CHILD and HAND PICKED ME to be their mother.
Each time I was told I would be unhappy, that I couldn’t do it, that I was incapable of pulling it off and that their life wasn’t worth it. I am here to tell you that they were all wrong…
I WAS CAPABLE AND I AM PULLING IT OFF AND IT WAS WORTH EVERY MOMENT! Seeing them smile at me and them telling me they love me was worth every bit of struggle to find a job and provide, every bit of tear that fell was worth it to bring them into this world to make it better! If it wasn’t for these three beautifully wild, strong willed blessings I would have been on the street, lying, stealing, drug using, and much worse. I have made so many different memories with each child in various stages of my life. I have had so many good laughs with them.