What Not to Say to a Stay at Home Mother

I started being a stay at home mother fully when I became pregnant with M.G, but for a short tome was a stay at home mother with R.J. When I had her I went back to the work force yet I missed home. When I had M.G is when my husband wanted me to stay at home with the kids. We both agreed that it is the best thing for them, beside the fact that we don’t 100% trust day cares her in Vegas. So since then 2016 I have been a full-fledged stay at home mommy, and since that time I have gotten mixed comments. Like most other moms!

It’s hard to be a mother regardless so dealing with those crude comments eat at you majority of the time. After a short time I tend to just roll my eyes and answer the questions kindly even though I want to be sarcastic. So here are my thoughts on some of the theses questions I have gotten of the course of me being a stay at home mommy to three.

“When Are You Going To Get A REAL Job”

First of just don’t say this. PERIOD. Second, excuse me but motherhood is a job all on its own. Sure there is no boss telling you what to do when to do it, ha ha wait that is what the toddler does never mind. I applaud the woman who works 1 plus jobs and still know to be a mother. Y’all are rocking it, same goes with the single mother.

Please do me a favor don’t ask/tell any mother who stays at home when they are going to get a real job. Motherhood (keeping the tiny humans alive) is a hard job with no pay, no breaks.

If motherhood was a job description for those who still think motherhood is easy work and we don’t do a lot as it is.

Job: Personal Assistant

Description: If hired you will be an assistant to one if not more manager like figures. Ages of the managers very. To be the right candidate for this unpaid volunteer like position can adapt in a fast-paced environment with a lot of moving parts, chasing the manager like figure around who may not even be clothed. It’s a hands-on role. No breaks are given, 24/7 on call. Working overtime is a given with no pay as well. No holiday breaks, often times, if not all the time, work load doubles and triples during holiday seasons. 


-Knowledge on cooking meals that will end up going to waste or to the dogs

-Multitasking it a must

-Speaking gibberish is an advantage.

-Maid experience

-Artistic design, and crafting knowledge 

-Musically talented is not needed but is very handy

-Teaching experience needed, need to be a teacher, guide, leader, role model

– Chauffeur experience, drivers I.D a must

-Time management/ Event coordinator experience

-First Aid/ C.P.R knowledge a must

-Banking experience/ Money management knowledge

-Comedian experience

-Nurse like quality

-F.B.I negotiator a bonus

-Handle public melt downs

-Corrections officer knowledge

Once again no breaks not even to the restroom, if you must use the restroom manager must accompany you and ask daily questions. Nap time does happen often but isn’t when you get a break. When nap time happens cleaning and catching up is a priority. When trying to cook a meal you have to with stand your manager’s repetitive questions of when is food almost done. Must keep manager happy, by no means should he or she get angry. If any questions to this application please tell representative. 

With that job description above tell me what you think what we do daily! Yea so we do have a job even if you still don’t think it is one.

“What Do You Even Do All Day!”

If you haven’t read the job description, go read it again.

Hide in my bathroom eating chocolate isn’t the appropriate answer now is it? Yea we have lazy pajama days where we don’t do squat. However, beside those once in a blue moon days, try to tell me that I don’t:

-Dishes get cleaned, put away

-Laundry is washed, dried, and folded (x6)

-Food is made; Breakfast, snack, Lunch, snack, Dinner

-Toys and other items picked up for the 24,000 time

-Bath time at least twice a day depending on how dirty the kids get in  a day (when dealing with boys this might double)

-Most importantly! The kids are kept alive another day

A lot of people tend to think staying at home with the kids is easy and that we don’t do a whole lot.


It’s not lounging on the sofa watching This is Us maybe when the kids are asleep at night with a nice glass of wine and Kleenex ! It is cleaning all day while trying to entertain tiny wild-animal-like children, without going 100% crazy and a lot of cold coffee because you forget to drink it hot.

“Maybe You Should Take A You Day”

Don’t you think we have tried to do this? Seriously, if I was able to take an all day me day without the house falling apart I would. I can’t even shower in peace without phantom cries or the kids walking past their father, who is sitting on the sofa doing nothing, to ask me a simple question that their father can do. As mothers we all know the phantom cries.

By taking a me day I end up getting bored anyway because I don’t know what to do with myself! Then go back home unless its Girls Night Out!

“When Are You Done Having Kids”

This might just be me but I am sorta sick of people asking and or teasing me about how many kids I have. Majority of the time the people having bigger sized families don’t plan it, so don’t judge! I have three and all unplanned and guess what we are very happy family. Yeah money can be tight and adding to that family isn’t the best idea, however if God blesses that family with another child on top of their five kids, let it be so. We have no room to judge when a family should be done having babies.

Personally I am done, I don’t want anymore! If I am blessed with another, I will make it work and love that baby like I already do love the others. Yes we take extra precaution so I don’t get pregnant but if it happens it happens.

“You Look Tired” and “You Have Your Hands Full!”

As much as I know you think these remarks are pointless and meant it kind heartedly. Just don’t. I know I look tired and I know I have my hands full. I am tired, what gave it away? My messy mom bun, coffee stained shirt or the bags under my eyes?

I know I have my hands full but I wouldn’t have it any other way! I love my strong-willed children. Yes they are tough to handle at times but once again I love my kids and know I have my hands full!

“You Look Different, What Did You Do”

I showered today, oh I also took the time to get dressed fully without house slippers and mom bun. OH and I have matching socks and make-up on.

Is that what you meant?

“What Do You Feed Them” or “You Feed Them That”

Are they eating? Yeah….

Could they be eating something better for them? Yeah…

OK well at least they are eating something and not feeding it to the dogs for once. As Long as I am their mom they will eat what I buy. If they want something else they can pay for it! I know there are better ways to eat and we eat that way a lot of times, just not always. I don’t have to explain why to you!

“You Must Get Super Stressed”

Yea but who doesn’t? Seriously like just because I have three unruly children at times doesn’t mean I am more stressed that any one else in this world.

So with today’s lesson do yourself a favor, the next time you go to talk to your stay at home mom friend, don’t say any of these things. They are irritating and make us cringe!

What is one thing someone has said to you that you didn’t really like? Mommy wise…..


  1. Hi, I was a stay at home mom for nearly a year and it really is the most difficult thing a woman can do. You are constantly exhausted and lonely. I used to think that being a SAHM was easy until I had to do it. People will never understand the work that goes into raising a child, maintaining the house and keeping everyone fed until they have to do it. Best of luck to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The one I hate people asking me is…..”are you ever going to finish off college and get a degree in something better than just being a mom.”
    That type of questions really ticks me off… I always snap & say!!! Motherhood is the best job ever!


  3. I work outside of the home and I’m shocked to even hear people would ask or say these things. A. What you decide for your family is your business and B. I stayed home with my daughter for 3 months and it’s not easy at all!

    Sending positive vibes your way!
XO, Alicia


  4. Some people say rude things. I work from home sometimes, but still, probably 70+ hours per week, and manage my blog, my home, and my kids YouTube Channel, and I hear some of these things. People say some awful things to moms period. I find myself not explaining anything to them because if they are too ignorant to realize that mom life is exhausting, and I don’t choose for my feet to look like I walked on hot coals because I missed my pedicure than they are not worth my extra breath. Thanks for writing.


    1. WOW POWER MAMA! You are super mama, keep winning it. Yea moms get a bad rap for either working our staying at home. Dad’s get a bad rap too unfortunately. Thank you for reading!


  5. You are so right! Being a stay at home mom a job in itself! That is something that the modern generation doesn’t seem to appreciate as much as the older generation. It’s a thorn in my side!


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