So yesterday night I was confronted with a big problem, well a big problem for me!
My oldest son complained that his head was so itchy! Uh oh, I thought, we as mom’s know that complaint and dread it so freaking much. Well lo and behold, I knew it, he had head lice. Crap, again I thought as I just kept saying it in my head, well first thing I did was I checked our daughters head. She had it too, double crap! Our youngest thank God was OK he hadn’t gotten anything!
Well we went and shaved our oldest head because it was easier, then we went and got a kit for our daughter. Well let me tell you, what an adventure of trying to do a lice kit on a super curly-headed 3-year-old that can’t sit still for the life of her. The kit wasn’t doing a good job so my husband and I looked at each other and said “it’s just hair, right!”
I tried to give my daughter a pep-talk, hopefully to help her. Well we stared to shave her head and she started crying “My curls! Now I’m not a girl!” Crying super hard and wouldn’t sit still, I cried with her. We stopped half way to get her to calm down. What was I to do about that, she felt so defeated. She felt as if her worth and beauty came from something that is so small and it kind of opened my eyes. I had asked her what would make her feel better and she looked at me with tears in her eyes “Shave your head to mama!”
Still starting at me with tears in her eyes, I couldn’t say no, if I did say no what message would I be telling her? I wanted her to know that beauty and being a girl/woman doesn’t come from our hair.
So guess what I did, I shaved my head because hair is just……hair!
I later, after cleaning the house and riding the little critters from our home, sat my daughter down and told her “She’s beautiful no matter what.” She looked at me no hair and gleeful eyes “Really mama?” I had to reassure her over and over, Yes! My daughter with her big Reese brown eyes is beautiful with or without hair and by me shaving my hair too, showed her that it’s OK. I showed her that we are all the same and beautiful, which we should be proud of it. Hair doesn’t define us much like what we ware and if we ware make-up. In the end it is all meaningless!
Well that morning at church she pranced around happy as all can be, tell everyone who asked what happened to her golden locks that she was beautiful. She is right. She didn’t care if her almost perfect curls were gone because they didn’t make her who she was!
If this ever happens to you, when there is no way around it and shaving is the only way to go remember this. Hair is just hair it grows back! Reassure your daughter no matter what age she is that she is beautiful no matter what she looks like.
Sure she did look like a boy, sure she did get looks and remarks, but she was beautiful every step of the way while being so confident. First piece of advice; Do it with her, let go of the feeling of “But my hair”! I can’t tell you how liberating it felt not having to worry about brushing it, styling it, bed head, or bad hair day’s. Shaving my head with my daughter was probably one of the most best feelings I have had other than being a mom. I seen my daughter grow with confidence during that time of her hair being super short.
Their hair will grow back, sometimes even better than before. My daughters curly hair grew in better and thicker, even more evenly! Another advice to this is it helps them teach responsibility of taking care of themselves. She now washes and brushes her own hair and takes care of it.
Last piece of advice I can give is Tea Tree essential oil will be your best friend against lice. I mixed a few drops of tea tree oil into their conditioner and had them let it sit on their head for about 5 minutes then had then rinse it out. I have not had a problem with the little bugs for a while now.
What would you have done if your daughter asked you to shave your head?